All righty, everyone. So I am very excited to introduce our next speaker, Cindy Arledge. Cindy is a second generation real estate investor and multiple selling author. She is also the creator of an entrepreneurial solution to help families thrive generationally. Please give a warm welcome to Cindy Arledge. Thank you. So I have a couple of promises that I'm going to make for you guys today. My first promise is that you're going to get out of here on time. In fact, my job is to get you out of here five minutes fast. Is everybody OK with that? And I want you to know that I'm going to measure my success by y'all's ability to laugh. If you don't laugh at some point in this presentation, I'm going to consider myself a failure. And before we get started, I just want you to, as you hear my voice, and you feel the seat underneath you, I just want you to be able to put whatever worries you have about being able to get home or all the tasks that you're going to have to do when you get there, put that aside and just spend this hour with me and enjoy it with me. OK? So here's my question. There's a tagline in this conference. Who can tell me what that tagline is? Go ahead. Say it out loud. Advisor intelligence. Advisor intelligence. The future is advisor intelligence. Who said that? I'm sorry. Right here. Sorry. First row. You? Congratulations. I'm going to give you a copy of the book. All right. This is a copy of my latest book, because advisor intelligence, AI. Don't we have so much in our head that AI is this artificial intelligence? Well, really, the success of what we will be doing is a heartbeat-to-heartbeat human interaction. And truly, that's what I'm all here about. Now, you guys in the back, as long as you can group together, we are going to have an interaction section. So it's fine that you're there, but just prepare yourself. So keep clients forever. Accelerate your success with a multi-generational planning conversation. This is important, because so many advisors are helping their clients get to the end of their life. They're talking about retirement. But what if we could elevate that conversation? What if we could elevate that conversation for 100 years from now? What if instead we were trying to talk about retirement? What if instead we were saying, how will your great-grandchildren remember you? Will they know your name? And so it changes everything. So our learning objectives are discover the ingredients for creating generational wealth. It's utilize the multi-generational planning conversation to set yourself apart and identify small changes in deep-rooted relationships. But that's all mumbo-jumbo, OK? We're going to do some real talk. Then we'll have question and answer. But if you guys have question and answer along the way, please just holler, and we'll do it. So my name is Cindy Arledge. I've written five books, multiple best-selling author. And the reason for me that this is important is because my job is to change the way we plan. And if I can put the information out there in a $20 book, or quite frankly, all of my books are available on Kindle for free, how can we change the world if we're not willing to share the information? And the reason that I do this is because my grandchildren were all born after my mom and dad passed away. They never met each other. And after my mom and dad passed away, our family went through the emotional storm of lawsuits. And I have a brother who sued me. It's been 19 years, and we still don't speak. I know, it's terrible. And so what's interesting to me is that the actual success of wealth transfer is less than 30%. So what other industry do you know has a 70% failure rate and is allowed to continue on without change? Well, one of the challenges that we have is, let's just talk about aging, death, and money. I mean, I do stand-up comedy to keep my speaking skills crisp because I can clear a room like that. If you want people to leave your party, invite me, and we'll come talk about aging, death, and money. My family has learned how to not be embarrassed by me asking the waiter if they have a will or an estate plan. I ask everybody. I used to be a Toastmaster. Anybody familiar with Toastmasters? You familiar with the three-foot rule? If anybody was within three feet of you, you invite them to a Toastmaster meeting. Well, I just took the three-foot rule, and if you're within three feet of me, I'm gonna ask you if you have a will or estate plan. How many here know that I've asked them since they've been here? And my running thesis is that less than 50% of the advisors in this conference have a will. And the significance of that is that if you're not comfortable addressing your own death, then you're not gonna be comfortable addressing that with your clients. My experience with that is that I was working with a financial advisor. She didn't have a will. She had a five-year-old daughter, and I checked in with her after January. COVID had hit, her husband had passed away, and her in-laws took her to court to try to get custody of her daughter. She was lucky enough to win, but now she has a will, and now as a financial advisor, she makes sure all of her clients have that conversation. So unfortunately, she had to go over the cliff before it elevated her comfortableness to address the importance of having an estate plan with her clients, okay? So the surprise benefit is that we built family connections. This is a picture of my husband and I in Okinawa, Japan in February. My daughter got a job teaching kindergarten at the Marine Air Base, and my husband and I flew halfway around the world, and we got to visit them. And I've been, I wanna pause here. If you're with BYU-Idaho, would you please stand up? These guys are amazing. If you haven't had a chance to meet them. I have had the best time with these guys, and you know what, the book that I gave you, did it have a signature in it? I may have given you the wrong book. Yes, this. This is for you. This is yours. Well, it's signed, it just doesn't have his name in it. So in my, I told you guys I was asking people if they had a will, and if you don't mind, this young lady has her will and estate plan. Can we give her a round of applause? Thank you. That's pretty incredible, right? To be so young and so aware of the need to get that done. And so back to, you know, I set out to help transfer wealth successfully, but what I discovered is that the process that I've implemented actually builds connections now. And so as a wealth advisor, it's kinda hard to sell, like, in 100 years, your family's gonna really benefit from your money, because nobody woke up in the middle of the night and said, gosh, I wish my great-grandkids knew my name. Gosh, I wish I could leave them at advantage. But they really do feel that, right? It's just not that pressing problem that's waking them up. But what they do have is they have a concern about kids that don't know how to handle money. Would you agree with that? They have a concern about, will they get along? Will they fight? Will they use the wealth that I leave them to have it positively impact, or are they just gonna blow it? Well, what I help families do is have the peace of mind and comfort while they're alive so that they don't have to die worrying about that. And so the ingredients for a generational success, I wish, there you are, Justin, here's the roots. We were talking about this, another BYU student. Y'all give him a hand. Thank you. So the roots of success is connection. How many of you guys talk about a family meeting? We need to have a family meeting. What about if we changed meeting to connection? Because we live in a world that's spinning out of control faster and faster and faster. And so if we could have family connections instead of family meetings, we could really connect that family. And so what we've done is we've created this roadmap. So building family connections is one spot on the roadmap. The next spot is reduce risk. And you've seen me hand out two of these books. I wrote this book, I guess I was published last year when my ex-husband had a stroke. I watched my adult children drop everything to help their dad. Obviously my ex-husband isn't in my inner circle anymore, but he's in my daughter's inner circle. And so his emergency was their emergency. Their emergency was my emergency. And they told their dad, if you don't get well soon, we're sending mom up here to the hospital. Right? And so at the same time, there was a hurricane that came through Houston, and I was watching the news, and there was rowboats bringing water to the community to lessen the damage to the community. I thought, wouldn't it be great if every family had their own personal emergency response team? And so this orange book that I've handed out is a step-by-step process of how to create your own emergency response team. Because if my ex-husband is my emergency, think about how many people we're connected to. Right? And so if we can reduce risk, that's one way that we can connect the family. The third one is to have a hundred-year plan. It changes everything to think a hundred years in the future. And there are families that are doing this. They've been doing it for a long, long, long time. And that's one of the keys. It's the ingredient of a generational success is to be able to look a hundred years into the future and decide what you want for your family. Because ironically, it's your grandchildren's ability to make joint decisions that will determine the success of generational success. That's where the wheels fall off the bus. Because our children are raised in our home, they have the same culture, but we know that even though we raise them in the same culture, they're not the same, right? The oldest is vastly different than the youngest. They come out of the womb with different skills and different talents. You have the night owl, you have the lark. I mean, every human being is a separate soul, but at least they've been raised in the same environment. When you get to the grandchildren level, they've all been raised in separate environments, and we suddenly expect them to come together and be able to manage and grow and transfer our wealth successfully. So if we're not thinking a hundred years into the future and we're not thinking about how can we get the grandchildren on the same page, then we've missed the boat. And so I have to share, I know Landon's going to love this story, I have found a diabolical way to get grandchildren. So I know, you thought I was going to lead with this. So for 14 years my family has been having our family transition plan, and my husband and I decided that every year we would invite the entire family on vacation, and while we were there we'd do a family connection. Because I also run commercial real estate, and so my children are co-owners of the real estate, so I need to give them the update, right? But if you will invite your children, your adult children and their spouses, on an exotic beach vacation, they will celebrate, get pregnant, and you never even have to deliver on the vacation. And if you will rinse and repeat, you will have a whole lot of grandkids. I really claim four of my five grandkids. Because every year, St. John Island has been wonderful to invite the kids to, right? But the truth is, is that we've been doing this for 14 years now. And over the 14 years, last year in our family meeting, I discovered my kids don't want to own the real estate. Given the opportunity to hand the real estate over there, I've been grooming my daughter 10 years to take over the real estate. It's been 19 years since my parents passed away, 10 years she's been working for us. Ready to hand it off, they're like, don't want it. So wouldn't I rather find out that they don't want the real estate now while I've got a little life in me, than worrying about what's going to happen? So we're in the middle of transitioning how we are as a family instead of just leaving it dry documents and hoping that they'll have the skills to run a commercial real estate investment company. So it truly changes the way you interact with your kids because you're doing connections, you're having conversations, and you can pivot while you're still alive. So another ingredient is culture. Culture is the conversations we're having and it's the conversations we're not having. Right? And so how many families are having a conversation that involves aging, death, and money? Right? We don't even want to face it. I listen to what people say and they say, well if something happens. I guarantee you if isn't the correct word, it's when. And so if we can get over our fear of death, then we can really start planning and making a difference. And when you're looking a hundred years in the future, it's pretty evident you're not going to be there. And so that's why that hundred year plan is so incredibly important. Another ingredient is a shared vision. So for us, being able to find out that the kids don't want the real estate, well now we have to, we have to change our vision. Because if I'm running a relay race and I'm going to hand over the baton and they're not willing to accept it, then I'd rather know now while we're all here to recreate a different future and make sure that the vision that we're looking at is one that they are willing to accept. Another ingredient is baby steps. Go ahead. Can I just make an observation? Sure. You just said something that very, very few people during our time here. You just said you're changing your vision of the future to align with what your kid's vision of the future is. How did you, how did that happen? Because that's not normal. It is not normal. And so it goes back to understanding that, well I'll just share with you, for me, my parent's vision is what we took and it wasn't what some of us wanted. and so after all these years to understand if the kids don't want that vision we need to invite them into the conversation and find out what they want it makes all the difference in the world no absolutely and I this is not my wheel I'm just an expert at finding people that have already done what I want to do and figure out how they're doing it now the difference between there this has been going on for a long long time the difference is they like to use five-letter words or five-syllable words and I'm a believer I'm an entrepreneur like let's just cut straight to the chase let's make it as simple as possible and so to regularly connect and train them while you're alive gives them the opportunity to have that input well and so we can start the process by they don't need to know how much you have because the money is the least important aspect of what we're doing but eventually they're going to find out so then I think that as advisors I would just like for you to invite me to the table and let me have that conversation with them because I'm going to ask them you know how do you want your wealth to impact your children well I think most of them are going to say we really wanted to help them well how good of a driver would you be if you took your driving test and then started driving right it's the lack of preparation and so how can they be prepared if they don't know and so oftentimes it's this new way of doing things and are they willing to have a conversation and so that's why I do free discovery calls and find out what is it is what is it that you want and how can I help you achieve it and oftentimes if they do want to keep that secret we can still move forward the family legacy planning and add that in later right well and what I really appreciate you sharing that story because do not most of your clients have named a family member as a trustee or executor right that is a huge issue because the family members are not trained they don't even know what a fiduciary is they're being a target painted on their chest because they're gonna have a sibling I know I was the widdle sister I have three older brothers and I was named as trustee of my brother and trustee of my brother's children and he's of course the one that won't speak to me and it was I'm not the one that made that decision but I have legal obligations as the fiduciary is an executor co-executor with my brother that I had to follow that you know siblings don't understand and so I feel like when we can change that conversation and when family members can truly understand the impact of keeping that secret and not preparing the family in advance and hopefully things will change and that's why I'm here and that's why I hope that you're here in that you can learn a new way to have that conversation and that's why I write books right another ingredient is advisory team and so what I discovered the families that are truly successful have a advisory team you know this this planning style is available at the family office industry but not every family has 35 to 50 million dollars to access it and so my mom and dad were broke as a joke when they got married they left a 10 million dollar estate when they passed away that was all real estate and I feel like if my parents had had access to the type of you know planning that the family office provides then perhaps I would still be a family that we would have Thanksgiving meals and I don't know how to make it seem human and I know there's a lot of practicality to it but to start to bring down some of those barriers and make it feel like this is okay to talk about well my goal is before you leave this room we get a chance to experience a connection instead of a meeting okay that that's my goal because it's all about the connection and then the last place is to automate systems I'm not a financial advisor I'm not an attorney I'm not a psychologist I don't have to be any of that stuff because the past keeps showing up in the present and the future so I can deal with whatever issues the family's had by dealing with it now the difference between a psychologist and a coach is that we deal in the present and the future a psychologist deals in the past so as long as I know what my railroad is which is not advising it's not legal it's not psychology and I can stay and we can automate systems but I will tell you that as an advisor and this is where I think it's fascinating if you guys adopted a hundred-year plan and you were talking with your clients about how can we automate wealth growth automatically and some of the ideas I've heard I'm just going to share them with you to see what you think about them is what if every grandmother put money into an account for retirement for their grandkid could you not as an advisor create a million-dollar retirement for a grandkid with a very minimum investment from a grandmother and could you not create a fund that they could the family could pull from that they could create automatic wealth using time and if you're going to create a million-dollar investment or a million-dollar retirement for a grandkid they still have to live their life and use their gifts and skills to create a living it's not like you're going to give them a bunch of money when they're just 20 years old right so but the family has to be able to the grandkids have those decisions to be able to talk about how to manage that wealth and have governance so do you see how you could automate some systems to really impact families for a long-term way if the family had the ability to have the conversations to manage that wealth you could change the trajectory of a family automatically and then the finally the final piece of this of course is this family development plan okay so these are the pieces and you guys are going to get this presentation afterwards so feel free to take a picture or it's going to come to you so utilize the multi-generational conversation to set yourself off traditional versus multi-planning so traditional you're talking about the focus of one will versus you know talking about a hundred years from now it's just an entire different conversation and the multi-generational planning piece of this allows family to address the 97 percent of issues that cause the family to fail so think about that we know there are three major ingredients that cause families to fail and it's this multi-generational piece that addresses those it's just it can change it can change the family there's six strategies to get started plan with the family not around them the appreciative inquiry exercise we're about to get to and so traditional planning as results wealth transfer fails measured by the loss of financial assets after the transfer process and we know that we invite an attorney we know that we invite a CPA we have the wealth advisor and 70% of families experience the failure during the first transfer 97% of the time the root cause is family feuds and less than 10% of families retain wealth past the third generation so when you add the multi-generational planning the services that are provided to those ultra high net worth families through the family office industry you're utilized by families to successfully transfer wealth and you're utilized by families who retain wealth past the third generation and so I mean I'm just going to flip through all this because this is this is recognizing the risk you as a financial advisor if you have a blended family your red flag should be up I mean that is automatic this family is going to have an issue so these are the six strategies use appreciative inquiry which we're going to do in this room I'm watching the clock so that's why I want to make sure you guys were sitting next to each other utilize I've got a risk assessment tool it's I've got a team working on that on my website that'll be free anybody can access at any time and we've really been grinding my mind to provide a customized response to their answers it's it's taken some time but it's exciting to be able to get that tool out there and extend the planning conversation to a hundred years instead of just talking about retirement ask the family where do you want your family to be in a hundred years build a team of advisors just invite me to the table that's all I'm asking is you know I'm not asking you guys to learn how to do all this I eat sleep and breathe aging death and money I mean to the point like I said I ask everybody if they have a will I think I've got a couple people that can testify to that offer solutions to automate wealth growth when you think when you can get those families to think about a hundred years and you guys can use your expertise to help those families automate wealth growth and then add a family development return on investment into the planning and what this means is the families that are most successful have put aside funds to develop the family so in our family we spend about 20,000 a year on family development for our family that year after my mom and dad passed away when my kids became beneficiaries they had no idea what that meant they just knew they were gonna start getting a check every month so my husband and I we hosted a half-day seminar we brought in the CPA we brought in the attorney at the time I didn't have someone like myself so we brought in a life coach and we brought in a financial advisor and the attorney explained to them what a trust was the attorney explained to them what a beneficiary was the attorney explained to them that they can't borrow from and it wasn't really theirs they were just a beneficiary the CPA explained you're gonna receive a check a distribution every month but you're not gonna have taxes taken out of it so you need a plan to pay taxes at the end of the year because they were in their early 20s when my mom and dad passed away the wealth advisor advised them you haven't earned this money what if you took this money and set it aside for your future years and don't use it it don't up your living expenses for this check that you've received and then the life coach said money doesn't really matter of who you are as a human being doesn't matter how much money you have this has been a gift from your grandparents and so we've had multiple workshops for our children we bring in outside experts to help them grow their expertise in these matters so what's your budget and as advisors how can you help your clients set some money aside so that they can use that because I promise you the money that they set aside to develop their family has a higher ROI of anything that you could give them on the market so the the way that we're doing right now is who we engage and and when we engage traditional estate planning is we don't have family input and when we can do the new model with family input then we go from individual to multi-generational and instead of waiting till somebody's at incapacity or death then we start before the chaos so the appreciative inquiry method is how many of you guys are familiar with the appreciative inquiry method okay few and how many of you guys have what I read well 3.0 by Jim Bruger it's it's a really great book for advisors he kind of goes through the cycle of wealth 1.0 is you only spoke to the wealth creator wealth 2.0 you you know you work with the wealth creator and the wife but we were still having this conversation about families you know 90% of families lose wealth only 10% of families retain wealth and wealth 3.0 is is where we're really getting to having conversations that elevate how do you want to impact your family a hundred years from now so I don't know about you but I don't know of any major breakthrough ever happened by just trying to fix a problem right the appreciative inquiry method was created at Case Western University and it's really a change management tool because really aren't we talking about change when we're transferring well we're talking about a change of ownership we're talking about a change of of who's going to control the well and so when we can have these conversations and this goes back to your question instead of focusing on problems to get back to neutral let's start at neutral and go to excellent it changes everything it changes it changes how the conversations go so instead of talking about challenges you talk about possibilities and so it says appreciative inquiry question here that slipped through so here's what we're gonna do I haven't written down here so no worries and I would like for me just we're gonna get to this so I would like for you to make you're leaving I'm gonna miss you thank you for being here oh by the way do a survey okay because now for once y'all guys to do a survey and I told him that I was gonna encourage you to do a survey so thanks for being here but do your survey so get get in a group of either two or three and I'm gonna ask you this question okay and this is your opportunity to understand what a connection is all about Okay, so here's the question that you guys are going to answer. Why is being here important for you today? Why is being here important for your family? At the conference, you know, at the conference as a whole. How is your being at this conference going to affect your family, the community, and the world? Okay. So what's going to come out of you attending? Right, there's several questions. So really you can, why is it important to you? Why is it important to your family? And why is it important to the community or the world? So take a few minutes. I'm going to give you three minutes. So make it quick. Share your answer. Give time for the other people. And I'm watching the clock. Okay, I'm going to bring everybody back just for a minute. Isn't this fun to get a chance to connect? Alright, so I would ask, is there somebody that heard something from someone else that made them think in a new way? And if you would, just raise your hand and share what someone else's idea was that expanded what you thought was possible. Oh, hang on. Let me get you a microphone because I know they're wanting to. Thank you, sir. Thank you. I struggled with answering the world and Charles had a great answer to that. A lot of us are lucky enough to be helping very wealthy clients. So one of the things we help that client to do is give away and contribute to charity. So that's helping the world. That was a great answer. That's awesome. Anybody want to else share an idea that they heard from someone else that like, go ahead. Hang on, we'll get you the microphone. Thanks, Louie. Louie shared with me how his family has a legacy of serving in the insurance industry. And he is here because he sees his ability to really grow and redirect that family ability to influence others by serving in the wealth management space. And part of that is from some advice you got from your grandfather. And so he took some of that advice from G1 and here he is as a G3 member. He's actually listening and doing something about it. And so that was a great example to me of, maybe it's a small tweak, but it's going to have a meaningful impact on the family long term. That's awesome. Thank you for sharing. Anybody else would like to share something that they heard from a buddy? How many of you guys enjoyed that experience? Right? So you want to do it again? I kind of rushed through the technical stuff. So here's my question. Let's do it again. So what is your most important insight, the gift that you will take away from this experience? What is the smallest, most immediate step that you can implement from just have had that connection? How will you take this connection either into your home or your practice? I'm going to give you guys, I'll give you plenty of time. So go back into your groups and talk about what's your most powerful insight and the gift that you'll take from this experience. I'll tell y'all when to switch. So just like we did before, did anybody have a tiny step that they were going to take from this that you thought, ooh, that's brilliant, that they'd like to share someone or your own? You can share your own or something that you heard in your group. Test, test. Yeah, this isn't, you know, quid pro quo, but Michael came up with a great comment in our conversation about when you're afraid, the parents are afraid, if I give these kids all this money, you know, the Lamborghini pulls up, kind of thing. But his concept of give them some now and just gauge how it goes and sort of see, you know, while you're still living and not drooling, you can sort of gauge how they're doing and build on that. Absolutely, and what if before you gave it to them, you hosted a workshop for the entire family to come, you had someone design questions where you understood what the children's values were, that everyone had this reflection time and all the kids had an opportunity to understand what their values were and the children, I say children, my daughter's 40, but just saying, you know, that everyone in the room had an opportunity to share what their values were and then there's a gift given for them to use that wealth to fulfill that value and you guys had mentioned earlier about using wealth for good. What if the entire family, I've got a process that I can take families through about their gifting values, what if the family had this gifting conversation about how they want to use their time, talent, and treasure to change the world and they decided as a family how they were going to fulfill that purpose. There's all kinds of massive conversations that we can have, so instead of just writing them a check, you actually get their input and then you have a better chance, maybe even ask them for what a KPI, like if you had $10,000, how would that improve your life and have them measure it themselves. It's a great way to build those skills. So thank you for that conversation. Anybody else? We're going to get you the microphone. Thanks. So as a follow-up, if you're in a conversation hosting an event like that, would you ever ask the family, and before anyone knows there's going to be any money given out, this is an educational day, would you ever ask them, what would you do if you received $40,000 with that money? Is that an inappropriate to go there? I would ask the question using that appreciative inquiry. If you had $40,000, what was the highest and best use? I mean, you know, I'd really want to sit with the parent and design a question so that we could be looking into possibilities. And then the parent could see that and have some indication of what's important to the child. Right. And it gives the parents the opportunity to be on equal setting with the kids. I don't know about you guys, but my kids don't want to listen to me. When I had the workshop, my daughter's like, you won't believe what that financial advisor said. He blah, blah, blah, blah. And I just was like, right? Because we're the last one that our kids want to listen to. But when we can bring in an advisor who's not us and we get to participate with our children, it kind of takes away that, well, you're just trying to tell me what to do. And with this appreciative inquiry connection, you're giving them the opportunity to converse and bring their voices into the room. So to that $40,000 question, you know, if we had $40,000 that we could invest in whatever challenge in this world that we want to see resolved, then or even how could this money help you in your own life achieve what it is? Because I got to tell you, it goes so much faster than you think it will. Like 65 gets here in a heartbeat, right? And so I also feel like one of the reasons that we don't understand how quickly life goes is because we don't have the courage to face that we're gonna die. You know, when I sent my second book, Curse of Inheritance, by the way, free copy up here for whoever wants to take one. I thought it was brilliant. I did the rookie mistake, had 3,000 of them printed, published two more books later that year that made it outdated. And so it's a great book, but just a tip, always buy the author's last book because they get better and better and better. But where's I going with that? It will pick up the book, but it was something else. And welcome to 65. Oh, we talked about culture, talking about death with young people at 18. If you sat every 18 year old down, said congratulations, it's time to get you your legal documents because I no longer have the right to make a decision for you and I'm gonna send you off to college and if, bless you, you know, something God forbid happens, I can't call on your cell phone, I can't make a medical decision for you. It happens every day. And so when I, I know what I was talking about, so I sent that book to my editor and he was like, of course he didn't have a will. His parents didn't have a will, right? He's like, man, you gotta lighten this up. And so I hired a New York Times cartoonist and we did a picture of a guy playing roulette. It's like 88, right? And we had a picture of death knocking at the door when the parents sat on the couch going, don't answer the door. Because we gotta lighten this up. We gotta make talking about aging, death, and money a normal thing. And so this conversation at 18 is congratulations, you're now an adult, legally, maybe not mentally, but. And so how can I help you use your gifts and talents to change the world? It expands the conversation. When you understand that you're gonna die, it's like, how can you stop wasting the 20-year-old, you know, you don't have to waste a decade. I'm here to help you use your gifts and talents to authentically use them to make the world a better place. Changes the conversation. Oh wait, let's give you the microphone because I know. How encouraging is that for people, for young people to have the opportunity to even think about it or talk about it. Exactly. And here's the funny thing about it. Then they're like, oh I gotta get married. Now I gotta tell my brother Billy he's not gonna inherit my stuff. Welcome to being an adult, right? You're gonna be, you're not one and done. You're gonna change your will and you're gonna change your estate plan over and over and over again. And to get your clients used to, we have to reassess what we're doing and how we're doing it on a regular basis. Why not teach them at 18? Because when you teach an 18 year old that they're gonna address death, then they're gonna teach their children and they're gonna teach their children. I tell people I'm not out to change the world. I'm here to help you change your world, right? And we can elevate this process one family at a time. We're gonna give you the microphone. I was dreading having that conversation with my father. Where's all your stuff dad? Because I just thought this is not gonna be good. And it was the day after Thanksgiving and I said, and I told him beforehand, like a week before, I said when I come there I'm gonna want to talk about this stuff. And actually he was more, he was, okay yeah it's in this file cabinet and the safes here and the keys here and he wanted to talk about it. And so this was the thing that I was dreading was I was completely wrong. You know he was he was ready to talk about it. Absolutely. But I find it's very interesting. There's some people that never want to talk about it and there's some people that do. But when we can humanize this conversation, it's not about your stuff. It's about how can I honor your wishes? Because I promise you the closer you get to the end, the longer you want the journey to last. And having a conversation about what this quality of life mean is one of the most important conversations that you can have as a family. There's a there's a doctor, gosh what's his name, Atwal Gawande, Being Mortal. Have you read that book yet? It's, I love the book because he talks about, I don't remember if it was a secretary, but her dad was a about to go into surgery and she had asked her dad, what does what does quality of life mean to you? And he said, watching the Cowboys on Sunday. Well the surgery didn't go well. The doctor came out and said, we have a decision to make. She said, which one lets dad watch the Cowboys on Sunday? He said, this one. She confidently made the decision. And so knowing how people define quality of life is so incredibly important and understanding that it changes, right? So before we go any further, I want you guys to take your phone out and I want you to go to the app and I want you to rank what you got out of this. They want a survey. They want you to survey every class. So we're going to take however long it takes and do the survey because if anything else we can thank the Association for putting on a great conference by giving them the feedback that they need so they can plan more quality content for you. So we're going to take a minute to do that and we're still in time. I want y'all to know we're still in time. I'm hoping y'all are all still doing the survey and you haven't scrolled off into social media. I haven't seen any eyeballs yet. Alright, hopefully you'll finish that up. Here's my ask. To make small changes to deepen the relationships, this whole experience is a content-rich, you guys have been to a lot of different breakouts, got a lot of really great ideas, and if you're like me you have a long list of to-do things that you are going to go home and implement and 90% of them will not be done. And so my ask to you is at some point over the weekend really think about what is the smallest thing that you can do that will have a biggest impact for you and your clients and only implement those. I've been training with Ben Hardy, Dr. Benjamin Hardy. He's got a new book coming out. He says the biggest impediment to our goal is a easy pathway to lesser goals. So when we really look at just the three changes that you want to make the most, then you have a shot at really making a difference. So that is my presentation. I have three minutes and 33 seconds left. If you guys want to ask a question, do. If you want to leave, please do. And if you want a free book, come and get one. How about that?

Cindy Arledge

real estate investor

generational planning

generational wealth

retirement planning

appreciative inquiry

family involvement

wealth transfer